Cafe Fernando

Seven-Bean Vanilla Ice Cream

Yesterday, Cafe Fernando turned 5! A year ago today, I quit my job and decided to become a full-time blogger. Since then, so many things have happened. First of all, the book happened. It turned my world upside down. And continuing to do so. I thought it was going to be all about baking, writing, melting chocolate and shopping for props, but it is much more than that. It became my whole life.

If I’m not measuring, baking, glazing or slicing, I am thinking, dreaming and planning. It is not just the actual work involved. I spend every waking minute of my life doing something about the book. And when life goes on like that, as equally important as it may be, I can’t help but spend less time on my blog. I feel sad for not being able to post frequently and socialize more with you guys, but I hope you know that a part of my brain is permanently thinking of my blog, and you, dear reader.

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My San Francisco

“San Franciscans will save the world.” “My heart is in my throat right now!” “Did you hear that?!? He told me to take as many photos as I’d like!” “Dear reader, after not that much thought and consideration, I’ve decided to stay in San Francisco…” “This chicken dish totally deserves a four-page long recipe.” “Can you believe it? I’m standing where once David Lebovitz baked!” “Can you please just leave me here for a couple of months?” “So, you call this a brownie?” “I am so glad we took a detour that day.” “How will we eat another pizza again?” “I’ll die. I’ll just die!” “Shit! There isn’t a single shot of the Golden Gate Bridge!”  “Yes yes yes! He’s showing us to the table closest to the kitchen!” “I don’t quite remember how quickly I managed to get there and had no idea it was going to be this scary, but there was one thing I was certain of – I really didn’t want to die. So I packed my things and started running…”

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2257 Days

Or 6 years, 4 months and 11 days. That’s how long it has been since the last time I’ve visited San Francisco.

But somehow it really doesn’t feel that long. I wonder if this is because even after all these years I still cruise ads for rentals (both in San Francisco and Big Sur) or can’t go to bed without watching my old neighborhood from the Exploratorium’s roof cam or occasionally “walk” from my old apartment to my alma mater, thanks to Google’s street-level maps.

I remember feeling the same when I moved back to Turkey many years ago. It was as if I had never left İstanbul. There’s only one logical explanation: San Francisco, just like İstanbul, is my home.

Even though it feels like cheating on my yet-to-be-published cookbook, I am going home for a while. In fact, as you are reading this, I’m either licking my fingers after a roast chicken and bread salad at Zuni Cafe or admiring the vintage collection of Le Creuset pots & pans at Cookin!, hoping the owner is in a good mood. And if it’s Saturday morning, I’m most definitely in front of the computer in the lobby, hitting the refresh button to find out what I’ll be eating at Chez Panisse on Thursday – all the while praying there’s “Meyer Lemon Pavlova” or “Vacherin with Mint and Chocolate Sherbets” on the menu.

Wish me luck.